A Whole Lotta 30

This isn’t really a food blog anymore, but it isn’t NOT a food blog, y’know?

Anyway, it’s been kind of a stressful summer (we moved, career angst, Trump’s America, etc.), and somewhere along the line — July, maybe? — we decided that we should try to reset our stressed-out-people eating habits by doing the Whole 30.

But because we had my birthday coming, and in-law visits, we decided we’d start in September. Far-off September.

The problem with picking a date in the future is that I started to have that pre-diet heading-to-the-gallows eating syndrome. Uh oh, I’ll be doing Whole 30 soon, better eat Oreos while I can! (I don’t usually eat Oreos in general, but my new office is buying all the novelty flavors and they are surprisingly good.)

Seriously, the worst eating plan of all time might just be the “I’m doing Whole 30 soon” mentality. Then again, it kind of insures that you’ll actually do it, because it’s like… well, I didn’t do all that pre-eating for NOTHING!

Starting Whole 30 about 2 weeks into working at the new office is both annoying because it interferes with my free lunch and snacks, and also opportune because… it interferes with my free lunch and snacks. The Oreos, the chips, the other chips, the cheesy things…

Incidentally, I am the third person to do Whole 30 at this office this season. (The rest of the group started ahead of me, so there has been one Whole 30-er per month.)

On Sunday, we stood at the precipice of our Whole 30-ing. We ate Chipotle, Salt & Straw, and Tomato Pie. Goodbye old friends!

Farewell, grilled cheese and canned soup! (Our best and most-frequent home-cooked meal at the moment.) Farewell, Gelson’s spinach pesto pasta salad! I think I’ll miss you most of all. 

Actually, I don’t know what I’ll miss most of all. In this heat, maybe ice cream.

And then we woke up yesterday, and it was our start-day, and I hadn’t really read the book, and we hadn’t realized that we were supposed to do like two hours of meal prep the day before Day 1.

Whoops.

In my defense, I have been on a real book-reading tear, and have a huge book to finish for my book club before our meeting this weekend. It’s called “A Gentleman In Moscow,” about a Count who lives under house-arrest in a hotel in Communist Russia. It’s… this is gonna sound weird, but it’s delightful.

But I digress.

We decided to just buy the ingredients for Day 1 and go from there, because the full week of suggested recipes is pretty daunting. Even at the grocery store, we were asking ourselves if we should call an audible.

I think it was the meal-prep that was scaring me, because it’s not like I’ve never cut things out of my diet before. I’ve been strict about my lactose intolerance. I WAS VEGAN FOR SIX MONTHS.

But something about this also feels a little more like a diet diet, and I hate diets. I told myself after I read “Intuitive Eating” that I’d never diet again.

But I think the Whole 30 process can help us examine that emotional thing behind why we turn to certain delicious, cheesy, bready, sugar-y foods. For me, I think it can definitely be triggered by boredom, or by this weird pseudo-logic of — “Well, it’s 3pm at the office, of course it’s time for a handful of peanut M&Ms.”

Anyway, thanks to yesterday’s meal prep, tonight’s dinner is already cooked and waiting to be consumed. (It’s spaghetti squash, which is honestly not one of my faves, but tomato sauce and ground turkey can improve almost anything…) And going forward I think we’re going to favor making big meals that can last for a few days, over daily prepping.

Oh yeah, I didn’t even mention that our place basically mutinied as we were cooking… I won’t get into it, but suffice it to say that if we end up quitting, that will be high on my list of why the universe didn’t want us to do Whole 30.

At points last night, I found myself envying the Count, hanging out at a fancy hotel restaurant, being a bon vivant (my “ideal dream,” as my former coworkers know) … in Communist Russia, but still.

The problem is, that being a bon vivant is not necessarily great for digestion and energy. Especially if one is lactose intolerant, but being stubborn about eating all the cheese.

ANYWAY, I have been googling around looking at blogs about “what to expect Day 2,” and in return I thought I’d write something up, for the next poor soul. So far Day 2 hasn’t been as bad as promised, but I’m sure my time will come… (I’ve had a low-grade headache for the last 2 days, but I think that’s straight-up dehydration… it’s been crazy hot.)

At this moment, I’d like to think that I will stick out the Whole 30 and feel amazing, like many of my Facebook friends have promised. But… then what?

I guess for now… one day at a time.

(PS My work desk has ants and one just RAN UP MY ARM. Are ants Whole 30 compliant?)

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