Sneak peek.

I’m a big fan of those single-serving popcorn bags, but I’m always hearing that the artificial butter flavoring is really bad for you. I can’t even remember where I heard that, or what the fake butter will supposedly do to you, but I just keep hearing it’s BAD. So I felt guilty, eating KILLER POPCORN.

Come to think of it — a while ago I tried to stop eating corn because a friend told me that it’s bad for your colon. But that didn’t really last. So popcorn still might be KILLER, but at least the artificial butter won’t be the thing that does me in. (Instead, it’ll be KILLER VITAMINS. We really can’t win, can we?)

I kept reading on Pinterest that it’s super-easy to microwave your own kernels in paper lunch bags, and yesterday I FINALLY picked up some kernels (I already had the lunch bags, olive oil, and various types of salt — I used kosher). I followed this recipe, but I didn’t actually measure out the oil and salt. I also just folded the bag (three times, to be safe), no tape.

For some reason I was skeptical that this wouldn’t work. I stood near my microwave, expecting the bag to explode or the kernels not to pop. But… it worked totally fine. Just like popcorn is supposed to. (On the Food Network site they list a recipe that calls for stapling the bag, and someone commented that it ruined their microwave. So… don’t do that.) (I learned my lesson young, when someone in my family tried to microwave a frozen candy bar with a metallic wrapper… cue small explosion/microwave fire.)

When you open the bag, you’ll be greeted by whiter-than-usual popcorn. It’s a blank canvas, waiting to be flavored. (And it needs to be flavored… plain popcorn tastes like paper.)

At the grocery store next to the bucket o’ kernels I noted that they sold various seasonings (including kettle corn flavor!), but I figured those also contained KILLER FAKE BUTTER FLAVOR, hence the olive oil and kosher salt. I don’t really like the smell of olive oil, but it dissipates.

I made 1/8th cup of popcorn kernels just to test (I didn’t want to accidentally make a TON), and I ended up making another 1/8th cup. So I guess it was a hit. (I guess I couldn’t be reached for comment?) I’m definitely going to make some later… or now. Or now AND later?

This is also a really cheap alternative to buying popcorn, because a huge bucket of kernels is less than $5. It’s probably, like, 50 times cheaper than buying individual bags. I didn’t do any actual math on that, so don’t quote me.

What are your favorite popcorn toppings? (… Poppings?)


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