I had a weird experience today. I actually read my Lean Cuisine box.
Since before I can remember I’ve been in the habit of eating Lean Cuisines, and Swedish Meatballs is one of my favorites (fittingly, it’s part of the “Simple Favorites” line). Today I was bumming around the office kitchen waiting for my meal to finish cooking, and something near the microwave instructions popped out at me–
“… a flavorful sour cream gravy.”
Weird, thought I. I’m typically not a fan of sour cream.
So I did a dangerous thing. I turned to the list of ingredients.
Here are a few that popped out at me: dehydrated sour cream, caramel color, potassium chloride, Worcestershire sauce (?!)… and, most alarmingly, beef AND pork. (Also: Contains anchovy?!)
You guys, I don’t eat pork. Like, I’m not kosher or allergic. I just don’t eat pork. It’s just a sort of Jew-y vestige. And I never even thought of checking to make sure that these grocery store meatballs are just beef. (To me, meat equals beef.)
So I did what I do when I make a Swedish Meatballs Lean Cuisine. I ate it. (What was I going to do– NOT eat it?) (Another Jew-y vestige.) I went to the Delicious Rewards website and entered my code to redeem my points.
But I feel kinda dirty about it. (The stupid thing is– I always feel slightly sick when I eat this flavor. Maybe it’s because I don’t like sour cream? And yet– I keep buying it.)
I guess the moral of the story is, don’t read the box. It’s sorta like opening Pandora’s box. Now I’m wondering if there’s pork in the chicken nuggets. Or dehydrated mayo. And if so– will I stop eating them? (Which I probably should anyway.)
Because even though I’m kinda grossed out, a big part of me doesn’t really care. I mean– we all know that these dinners are terrible for us. Weird chemicals, too much sodium. I’m disillusioned, but not surprised.
I feel a Lean Cuisine identity crisis coming on…