Hey guys. Remember me? I’ve been busy, but also I’ve been straight-up shitty about blogging.
I guess my lack of words here imitates life, because I have laryngitis. Like, legit. Yesterday I was basically inaudible.
Not being able to talk is pretty nuts. Well– I could talk, but nobody could hear me. Same diff. And I wouldn’t really think about it until I TRIED to talk. And then I’d be like, whoops! I sound like a fucked up violin. Like if you tried to play a violin that just got beat up by a bunch of thugs. (Because thugs love to beat on inanimate objects.)
So I went to the store for a cure, and the best I could find was Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Throat Tamer. I snapped that picture and sent it to Mr. Tea, to get his tea seal of approval.
And he sent me THIS picture in return, of some tea HE had just purchased.
(The difference between me and Mr. Tea is that I show my thumbs, and he apparently does not.)
Isn’t that crazy?? That’s some Gift of the Magi-style craziness, except that it’s nothing like Gift of the Magi (I just like saying “Gift of the Magi”). It’s just a regular coincidence, not a weird/tragic/bad communication now-all-our-money-is-gone oops-ident.
I GET that the bear is smelling the sinus tea, because it’s helping his NOSE REGION. But why is the throat bear reading? Is READING the best way to symbolize a sore throat? I can’t really think of anything better, but you would think some marketing genius at Celestial Seasonings who is making the BIG BUCKS could think of SOMETHING.
But at least the Sleepytime Throat bear is obviously going to bed. He’s doing bedtime things. The Sleepytime Sinus bear is obviously drinking this tea for BREAKFAST. That’s not Sleepytime! That’s Wake-Up Time.
Whatever. I’ve been drinking it during the day. No big. Just weird marketing, right? (My honey container is also a bear… so many bears.)
When I went back to the tea section, I didn’t see any other boxes of Sleepytime Throat Tamer, so it obviously magicked itself out of thin air. Therefore, I had to buy it. For its magickal qualities. (And Vons didn’t have any Throat Coat.) (PS: I’m not sure that Throat Tamer was all that much better than normal tea.) (So much for magick.)
I don’t know how Mr. Tea does it. I drank tea at restaurants, tea at home, tea at work. With and without honey. And it kinda made me feel ill. Too much tea. Too, too much. Tea much tea. Tea until ya pee.
So yeah. Laryngitis. Pretty crazy. I had a cold, and it went away, and two days later my voice was gone. That’s a new one. I always wished for laryngitis the day before a book report in middle school. But when you answer phones for a living, it’s not so cool.
It might be kinda fun if I have a sorta husky/sexy voice tomorrow. But I’d be fine skipping straight through to regular voice again.