Oak Glen: Apples & Horehounds & Pies (Oh My)

This is what a half bushel looks like.

As promised, here’s the second post of Oak Glen pictures. I’m going to be a little bit lazy and link a few pictures that I don’t feel like embedding. Because I don’t want this post to be ginormous. (Cue nightmarish flashbacks to my True Blood recaps.)

I was a big fan of the designs on the apple boxes/bushels. (In film production, “apple box” is the technical term for a wooden box.) (High tech.)

The photo at the top was snapped at Mr. Law’s Apple Stand.

Can you guess where I took this one?

If you guessed "Los Rios," you might be psychic.

But they didn’t just have apples in boxes. They ALSO had apples in bags!

I'll eat you, my pretties.

High tech.

But you don’t want to buy a whole bag before eating a few samples…

Yes please. (At Snow-Line... I think.)

Oh man, it would be so easy to pull a Snow White on me. I will eat any apple that’s handed to me. Especially for free! Why not? (See: Snow White.) (Exactly.)

You might be wondering how they cut those apples so precisely. It’s totally this apple machine! I was obsessed with watching the sample-guy crank this device when Lauren and I were in Oak Glen last year. (It’s impossible to write that sentence in a completely non-dirty manner.)

Lauren's hand alert!

I don’t know if I would WANT one, but it’s cool that they exist.

Okay, moving on to the foods. We hit the jackpot with the first apple pie we tried. It was from Law’s Coffee Shop. Apparently they won Inland Empire Magazine’s “Best Slice of Pie” award (ha), and I think they probably deserve it. How often does THAT happen?

My only breakfast options in LA were a Trader Joe’s Apple Walks into a Bar bar, or an apple. It felt kinda silly to eat apples on my way to apple country, so I waited patiently until we got to Oak Glen. This ended up being my first meal of the day (split 3 ways):

Breakfast of champions.

Hot apple pie a la mode on a cool morning (er… early afternoon?). And the apple cider donuts were my next course. Very healthy!

We ate outside at a picnic bench. The foliage was gorgeous. Here’s a sight from Los Rios Rancho:

Am I still in Southern California?

Inside we found one of Lauren’s favorite treats… she likes the pumpkins best. I don’t fully understand the appeal, but I’ll post this picture in her honor.

Candy corn mega-mix.

If you go out to Los Rios, be sure to take a walk along the nature path. We found a delightful floating dock, although I was semi-convinced that alligators were lying in wait to eat us. (Earlier that day, I’d watched this YouTube video.)

The rest of these pictures are from Parrish Pioneer Ranch. They had some of the more… interesting… finds. (The website boasts an attraction called “Yodeling Merle.” I guess we missed him.) (But best timing of the day award goes to me. I said, “I guess they’re not doing the Wild West shows right now.” Before I even finished my sentence the gunshots began. And I jumped a mile.)

In high school I went to Jewish weekend retreats where we ate AMAZING apple butter with challah. So I’m always intrigued by apple butter, but the apple butter we ate at camp was a much darker brown. I guess I’ll keep questing for my nostalgic apple butter. (I taste-tested some at one of the farms, and it wasn’t as good as the apple butter I remember.) (But memories can be liars.)

This display confused me because I could not find any pumpkin apple butter. Oh lying label!

Where's the pumpkin?

That’s pure apple butter, and I’m pretty sure the Jewish camp apple butter was spiced. Just wanted to acknowledge that I know the difference. (Take that, comment-makers! Preemptive strike!) I sampled both types. Apple and pumpkin butters taste kinda overwhelming without the challah. For me, at least. I’m delicate.

Lauren was going to buy some of these horehound candies, but I guess we forgot. So I never got to taste horehound, but now I know that it exists, and I get to type it a few times for my own amusement. Horehounds! It’s like a cougar to the next level. (But seriously… is it a type of dog? It sounds like a type of dog… but it’s probably a root or plant.)

Sassy words to know and tell.

Apparently sassafras tastes like root beer. Another hilarious word. Although I thought the s-word for root beer was sarsaparilla. So… I’m confused. As usual.

Speaking of cougars to the next level… here’s a major WTF moment for you.

Cleavage Creek is the new Wisteria Lane.

The lady on the left kinda reminds me of the sex-crazed real estate agent (Barb?) on “Cougar Town.”

I wrote a bunch of jokes but then I redacted them because it turns out Cleavage Creek is breast cancer related. Way to ruin the funny, breast cancer. (And… Google searches.) (But way to go, Cleavage Creek. Your name is kinda funky, but your cause is noble.)

Last but NOT LEAST, here is the link to Lauren’s Oak Glen post. I really love the apple cider picture that earned Lauren a scolding. She came over to me and said, “We can’t take pictures,” and I said, “Oh really?” and just kept taking pictures. I’m a big-time criminal. (But I didn’t commit this crime.)

Until next time. Keep your noses clean, kids.

Horehounds and sassafras!

xoxo…

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3 thoughts on “Oak Glen: Apples & Horehounds & Pies (Oh My)

  1. I’m getting you an apple crank for Hanukkah…and some horehounds!!
    And yes, horehound does sound like a type of dog. The name kind of makes me think of Hound of the Baskervilles for some reason.

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