As I’ve mentioned in the past, “30 Rock” has a lot of parallels with my life. My friends tell me that I remind them of Liz Lemon, in my words and actions. I’ve been a page. I’ve been Cerie (a head writer’s assistant). There was even that episode where Frank wore an outfit right out of my wardrobe.
But “30 Rock” takes place at a live sketch show on NBC in New York City, and that’s all foreign territory to me. People often THOUGHT that my page-dom was similar to Kenneth’s, but NBC pages are… much more prestigious. I would say– trust me, guys, my pagedom was NOT like that.
What was my pagedom like? I don’t know if I feel like getting SUED today. But I have some great stories.
For now, I’ll let Kenneth sum it up for you.
Kenneth: Welcome to the Late Show with David Letterman. Please have your tickets out. And now, as with all studio audiences, we will sort you according to attractiveness.
Kenneth is not the only person who has graced TV screens across the nation with that blazing red blazer. I know I have a no-photos-of-me on the blog policy, but just this once…
That is me in the background, with my hands clasped as if I am SO HAPPY for that girl. Where’s my Best Supporting Actress Daytime Emmy?
Also: YES, I paused my TV and took a picture of myself on it. (High tech.) In my defense: When am I ever going to be on TV again?
But enough about THAT. (For now.)
I have to admit that I’ve never seen an episode of “The Barefoot Contessa” (is she really a contessa?), but nonetheless I was tickled by the Liz/Matt Damon storyline. I actually might be more of an Ina Garten than a Liz Lemon.
Liz: It’s perfect. I’m like that woman on the Food Network whose husband only comes home on the weekends. And she spends the rest of her time eating and drinking with her gay friends.
And Matt Damon sobbing was beyond hilarious/priceless. I love that Liz always bags these handsome guys who turn out to be a little bit (or a lot bit) nutty when she cracks the surface. (His character is named Carol, but I’m just going to call him Matt Damon. I don’t know if I’m spelling Carol right.)
Here are some quotes that I loved from the scene where Matt Damon reveals that he wants their relationship to evolve into something deeper.
Matt Damon: (sobbing) I’m not like Jeffrey Garten! I’m not as strong as that guy!
-They cut to a clip of Jeffrey Garten while Matt Damon is crying, and the juxtaposition is hilarious. Because Jeffrey Garten is a sweet little teddy bear of a man.
Liz: No! It okay! Don’t… be cry?
-Liz is so freaked out by Matt Damon’s outburst that her brain seems to turn off. Like, full-on no idea what to do. She kind of moves to pat his shoulder, but doesn’t actually touch him. Or form complete sentences. I think we’ve all been stuck there in Awkward City, thinking, How am I supposed to respond to THIS? Maybe it’s early, but I think this is going to be the “30 Rock” quotable of the season.
Matt Damon: (still sobbing) I want grown-up love!
-This “grown-up love” stuff is deep. I don’t want to get into it right now. I’ll end up writing a thesis. But I think it’s hilarious that the few hours a week that Liz sees her guy, they sit around in matching flannel shirts, eat a block of cheese and Wheat Thins, drink white wine, and watch “The Barefoot Contessa.” (That may or may not be my MO…) (With less cheese.) (And “30 Rock” instead of the Contessa.)
Liz: I can’t believe I tried to clean my bathtub for this!
-Not long before watching this episode, I scrubbed my bathtub. I’m such a Liz. But I’m 24. I guess the joke is that she’s… too old to be a Liz anymore. (She’s a showrunner. She should totally hire a maid.)
And this one made me laugh, because… budgets. Also: Valuing writers as monetized items rather than people.
Jenna: Liz, the writers can’t take a car service at night anymore. I’ve crunched the numbers, and it’s cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.
You guys, I am melting. It’s sooo hot in my apartment. And I don’t GET hot, so I know it’s REALLY hot.
Time to eat some ice cream and watch SNL, which I didn’t even realize premiered last night. That’s why DVR is such a gem.