Snack of the [Evening], 8/10/10: My Own Personal WATERMELON

This watermelon is bigger than Jesus.

My own personal watermelon… everybody sing along! (If you don’t know the tune… the picture should clue you in.) (Finally, a random religious tract is of any use to me. I’m walking up the stairs singing “My Own Personal Jesus,” and– BAM!– Jesus is on my kitchen table.)

So I ended my official Lucky Day with one of my favorite fruits, which I almost never eat because melons are heavy! I live up several flights of stairs!

But luckily there are smaller watermelons now. Personal pan watermelons. Modern technology! Modern science! Cancer isn’t cured yet, but… tiny watermelons exist. Cool. I guess that’s the silver lining.

All day I was hell-bent on getting frozen yogurt tonight, but in the late afternoon I thought I smelled watermelon, and suddenly I was on a mission. I ran my idea by a friend, via the chats…

Me: now i want to go to trader joe’s and get one of their little watermelons. watermelon for one.

Friend: I hope you find that watermelon

Me: thanks. the watermelon of my dreams.

Friend: everyone deserves a chance at their one true watermelon

Melons can be romantical metaphors. (And also: boob metaphors.)

And my melon turned out to be VERY romantic:

It's heart-shaped. TRUE LOVE.
That heart shape didn’t last for long, because I cut another slice. I ate HALF of that watermelon. It may have been a small watermelon, but it was still sizable. (And I might eat more, now that I’m thinking about it.)

I also ate a bunch of cherries, because… life is like a bowl of cherries. (Or a chair of bowlies, if you’re Mary Engelbreit.) A Lucky Day isn’t complete without an optimistic phrase!

Cherry berry berry.
Turns out that with cherries (from Trader Joe’s, at least), size DOES matter. The big ones taste better. I don’t know why. More fruit-meat? Just trust me, go for the carton with the bigger-looking cherries.

The cherry caption was a reference to a JEWISH song (Bim Bam), ’cause I gotta balance out the Jesus. (I think it’s really shiri biri biri, but in summer camp we said “cherry berry berry.”) (I cannot find a youtube video where they actually sing that line, because it’s one of those cool-kid add-ins, but I will gladly sing it for you in person.)

And now I’m in the mood for an apple! How Eve of me. Fruits and Biblical stuff. Totally interrelated.

On a totally different note, I ate this motherlode of goodness while watching “Bethenny Getting Married.” Love her. Love Jason. Love the scene where Jason collects all the samples for her at Cosco. THAT’S true love. Consideration. And raviolis on a toothpick.

While I was fruitlessly (see what I did there?) searching for Bim Bam clips, I found some nice clips of other faves. A lot of songs have multiple tunes. Here’s a clip of two girls with guitars singing Hashkiveinu. It’s appropriate for a late-night post because the song is about being guarded from harmful things while you sleep. In a nice way. (And I want to chill with those girls. In my PJs.)

It took me forever to find a video of my favorite tune… so here you have it, some precocious kid (gender unclear to me… sorry, kid) in a big yarmulke. But seriously, this kid is awesome. Way to sing my favorite tune.

And here is REGINA SPEKTOR singing one of my other favorite Jewish songs (Eili, Eili). Seriously, what a way to end my Lucky Day! YES. (I must mention that this song was written by Hannah Szenes, major Jewish hero… killed when she was MY AGE, for trying to save other Jews from the Nazis. Intense.) (Both links have the English translation, which we sing to the same tune.) (And if you have ever been on Birthright, you probably sang this at Szenes’ grave. Emotional.)

I wonder why I’m so morbid, and then I realize I was reading “Love You Forever” and learning about Hannah Szenes (and Anne Frank, etc etc etc) in temple school when I was… I mean, we’re talking elementary school. That’s some heavy stuff to process.

So now you know what I sometimes do on random Tuesday nights. Youtube beautiful Jewish songs from my childhood (and beyond) and weep.

It’s still my Lucky Day, though. I’m grateful for everything that I have, and for the people who paved the way for me to sit on my ass and watch Bethenny get married and eat tiny watermelons and sift through Youtube clips and say whatever I want, right here.

Also– the more I think about it, the more I suspect that the Ryan Seacrest I talked to this morning was a recording. Or like a previously recorded segment where he asked questions and they left pauses for me to answer. But whatever. My voice mingled with his, and was sent out upon soundwaves across the greater Los Angeles basin. Live Ryan or fake Ryan– I won.

Okay, time to cut myself off. Last call. The blog is closing for the night.



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