Snack of the Afternoon, 7/27/10: BUBBALOO

Who can resist a burstin' liquid center?

I found this in the candy dish in the bathroom where I work. I thought it was kind of ridiculous (and is the name a tribute to Ricky Ricardo?), so of course I took it, saved it all day, and am chewing it now. It’s not a legit snack. Just gum. And it’s starting to taste really strange. Like chemicals.

Let us examine the fine print.

Why is it the color of flesh?!

Made in Colombia. That explains why it tastes like cocaine. (Kidding!)

One of the ingredients is “invert sugar.” Isn’t Splenda inverted sugar? But seriously– what is invert sugar? Sounds like a madcap science experiment gone wrong. In Colombia.

OMG you guys, invert sugar is cocaine.

Also, what is BHT for freshness? Is this flesh-colored candy made of poison? Why did I put it in my mouth and allow its creepy liquid to burst therein? (That’s what she said, intentional x 1,000,000.)

[After I posted this, I looked up BHT… it’s also used in EMBALMING FLUID. I… no words, just yuck.] [I mean… to be fair, almost everything we eat is made of poison. So I’m just… on the American bandwagon.]

And furthermore, why is my mouth going numb? (Kidding!) (But scared…)

Moral of the story… don’t eat sketch candy that you found in the bathroom.

Leave that to me.

xoxo…

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