I am introducing a new category called Small Bites, which is for TV show commentaries that are not actually recaps. Just a little sample platter! (I think I’ll retroactively add a few of the previous posts that didn’t fit into the full-fledged “recap” definition.) Not to be confused with Tasty TV Morsels, which is about individuals. Or Aftertaste, which is about shows that are RIP.
So we all saw the pilot (or preview, whatever they’re calling it) of “Glee,” and it was great. A lot of people wondered if the second episode (“Showmance”) could live up to the hype.
Well, I just spent my lunch break watching it on Hulu, and I was shrieking with laughter (sorry, co-workers).
A few highlights:
-Jane Lynch (Cheerios coach) tried to offer Will an iron pill to help with his menstruation. Turns out, neither of them menstruate. She also said that she had her wealthy, elderly mother euthanized. I loved that she made a string of horribly un-PC comments, but when Will said one rather tame thing, she coughed, “Offensive.” (I think we all know somebody like that.)
-Jane Lynch’s melodramatic smoothie drop re: unauthorized use of the Cheerios copy machine. When Rachel and Finn didn’t receive her punishment of choice (she thought that they ought to be hobbled), she seethed, “Lady Justice wept today.”
-While viewing a room in an open house with a “The Princess Sleeps Here” sign over the bed, Will’s wife said, “This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep.”
-To afford the house, Will became a part-time janitor at the high school… and looked very cute in his uniform.
-Thomas couldn’t believe that this got past the censors… (There were a lot of “can’t believe this cleared!” moments.)
Rachel: I guess I don’t have a gag reflex.
Emma (red-headed counselor): One day when you’re older, that will turn out to be a gift.
-The hilarious brochures that Emma had on display in her office:
The one she handed to Rachel was entitled, “So You Like Throwing Up.”
(I’m so proud of that screen-grab.)
-The Celibacy Club meeting, where one male member hilariously referred to ejaculation as “Cinco de Mayo!” (Runner up: The bully guy said that one Cheerio’s skirt was so short that when she bent over he could “see her ovaries.”) Also, how great was Rachel’s defiant speech about how abstinence doesn’t work? She boldly (for high school) declared that girls are just as horny as boys.
-The flashback to Finn’s driving lesson had me screaming with laughter at the moment of surprise. (Also, Finn is dating Quinn? Confusing.)
-The assembly, where Emma yelled, “Glee kids hooray!” and Pricipal Figgins hilariously closed his eyes and swayed serenely whilst the Glee club bumped and grinded to Salt ‘n Pepa’s “Push It.” The sexual dancing was so wonderfully over the top.
-Jane Lynch’s line in the post-assembly meeting: “My first thought was that your students should be put into foster care.”
-Did anybody else notice that we have two “True Blood” alums? Kevin McHale (Artie/wheelchair kid) was the coroner’s asst/goth Fangtasia patron/fourth man in the fire last season, and Patrick Gallagher (Coach Ken) plays Chao, the vampire who steps in as a co-owner of Fangtasia after Longshadow dies.
-Rachel and Finn drank virgin cosmos out of “cups from an airplane” at a pillow-laden picnic that Rachel laid out on the stage. They kissed, but Finn ran away because… Cinco de Mayo!
-Will’s crazy wife found out that she wasn’t really pregnant but neglected to inform Will. However, she decided that he could drop his second gig as after-school janitor, and that they didn’t have to move to a bigger house. So… I don’t hate her. But she’s crazy.
The singing was obviously lip synced, but… oh well. That’s par for the course.
What were your favorite parts?
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