Last night my roommate and I checked out the new ABC show “Dating in the Dark.” The basic premise is that three men and three women meet and then break off and have individual dates, all in complete darkness. At the end their looks are revealed, and each person can decide whether to stick with his/her match or bail out.
Out of the three guys in the pilot, my immediate favorite was “Audio Visual Designer” Seth. Rumpled hair, good sense of humor, a jaunt in his step, the Nice-Jewish-Boy vibe. What’s not to like? (He does say that he usually just picks the hottest girl around– excuse me while I vomit– BUT he came on the show to combat that impulse.) And I like the irony of an “Audio Visual Designer” having to meet people IN THE DARK!
Seth was paired with “Marketing Manager” Christina (marketing… probably a bit of foreshadowing that she wants a man with an overall wow-factor), and things seemed to go well for them. They swapped many touching stories in the dark (apparently, because we only saw a few moments of their dialogue), along with a LOT of saliva (I think we saw more of the kissing than the talking). Christina was your average pretty brunette, but not a beauty queen. In the portion where Seth had to describe what she looked like to a sketch artist, he was eerily close to what she really looked like (major exception: he thought she was a blonde). Christina described a slightly less attractive guy than Seth (he described the sketch as “a hobbit,” although… hobbits can be hot), so I thought she’d be happily surprised by the sight of the real Seth.
Not so much.
The one thing that made me happy was that the contestants weren’t allowed to speak when the other person was revealed to them. Can you imagine how humiliating it would be if the other person gasped and said, “Oh God, your face… it’s hideous!” As it turned out, the way the rejection went down was almost worse…
Seth was totally pumped when he saw Christina, despite her unflattering reveal outfit. (Two words for you, Christina, when it comes to tent-y dresses: Belt it.) Christina, on the other hand, blathered on and on about her potential lack of physical attraction to Seth. Um, hello? You made out with him. MORE THAN ONCE. Isn’t that physical attraction? I don’t know. Wait, I do. Yes, yes it is.
Christina spent a looong time lying around the realty TV manse, agonizing over whether to meet Seth on the mythical balcony-of-the-light. As Seth waited on the balcony, he saw stone-cold Christina walk out the front door in her spiky-ass heels, wheeling her suitcase behind her. She didn’t even give him a parting glance. After the bond they both professed to have fostered, the cut-and-run aspect of it was worse than a face-to-face letdown. Seth watched her go, incredulous. Cut to video of Christina crying about how she doesn’t want people to judge her judgy-ness.
The cruelest part was that even creepy “SAT Tutor” and pheromone enthusiast Stephen got a chance in the light with his girl.
The thing is… how hard would it have been for Christina to meet Seth on the porch, and give him another hour of her time? She could easily have rejected him as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. But honestly, he’s better off without her. It wouldn’t have lasted, and now America knows Seth is single and ready to mingle.
Seth can take comfort in the fact that women across America are feeling sorry for him, and also attracted to him. Live it up, Seth! (And/or look me up!)
PS/Random Aside: I’ve heard that total-darkness restaurants are a wonderful sensory experience. But maybe don’t go with a blind date. (Exception: If you and/or your date is literally blind… why not? It’s just like any other date.)